I have often heard from people that while a part of them feels they probably do need to see a clinical psychologist, another part holds them back. What are the reasons fear something that is touted as an experience that will be good for them?
Well, very often individuals feel that they are only functioning as well as they are in the world because they are keeping a lid on the scary or overwhelming feelings or memories or experiences. The fear is that if they were to come to therapy a “can of worms” or “Pandora’s box” will be opened up that they will not be able to control.
This is a commonly held misconception and is in fact exactly the opposite of what is in fact true. It is the not dealing with the “can of worms” or feelings or memories or thoughts that you are avoiding that is keeping you stuck in a life or a mind you are not happy with. Our feelings are strange things in that what you resist persists and so the very thing you are avoiding dealing with, will begin dealing with you! By this I mean that our past will begin to haunt us like lost ghosts unable to find their rest because you have not acknowledged them, and tried to understand them (what they are, why they are here and what the message is they are trying to give to you).
Until and unless we look them in the eye and address them head on, we will never be free of the things we are spending our lives running from.
Of course addressing our difficulties in an environment, context of a relationship or in a state of mind that is not supportive of and conducive to healthy processing can do more harm than good. The right therapist can provide you with the supportive holding environment needed in order to allow you to unpack and explore the difficult feelings in a constructive way and at the pace that is good for you.
Lastly, remember that the healing happens through the FEELING.